As far as you creating the "monster" that is him, no way! He is choosing (consciously or unconsciously) to be this way. He has a TON of issues that he is afraid of seeing and facing. Thus, he's avoiding doing what it takes to make this M work.
I too wish he'd act, but I see him as "emotionally dead" right now. Not sure how to wake him from that.
Your path may have become clear to you, my dear. As unfortunate as it seems. You've been trying but w/little results. Could you have done more? Hindsight will always say "yes." You have been putting in a tremendous amount of work to try and salvage something.
However, he's done ZERO to make this work and it can't be a one-sided affair. That simply won't work.
