I completely understand. That is one of the tough parts about this whole process. But, teh book, and these boards, will help you get to a place where you will be able to let go of that issue. Doesn't mean it won't hurt. But you will be able to step back and look at M as an outsider almost. See the good and bad.
You will also be able to begin to appreciate yourself. You will realize you are worth loving and would be a great catch for someone. Whether that is your H or someone else is really up to your H. Again, you want to become someone only a fool would leave.
You will need lots and lots of patience. Then more patience.
If you are so inclined, prayer works wonders. I pray daily for strength, patience, peace, composure, and, oh, patience.
It will be a bumpy ride - God knows I am leanring that every day. What keeps me going is that one day, I want to be able to look my kids in the eyes and tell them I did everything I could to save my M. What my W will tell them, I do not know, and it is not my problem.
