To answer your ?: Yes, she is VERY forgetfull, as well as a little disorganized, always has been. And yes, I did like the hint of jealousy in her question!
Just to fill everybody in on the latest development: Yesterday, she came to pick up the boys at the house. We talked about a bunch of stuff and then before she left, I asked her if she had contacted the MC yet since I had not heard anything. She said she was about to and then remembered that it cost $110 an hour and that she doesn't have any money right now. Especially since she went on vacation and spent too much money and how she shouldn't have gone, etc. etc.. I told her that she did not make a mistake in going on vacation and that I think it did her good, she did agree with that. Also told her that she had told me that she really thought this MC could help her and she agreed and that she really likes talking to her and thinks she can help her. Then I said it was $90 and that we do still have a little bit of savings and that I still have money saved up. I told her that I thought it was important and that money shouldn't be the issue. She said that if you don't have any money, it IS an issue and that she doesn't want me to pay for it because it's her session. Said that if she sells some more stuff at her shop she might have extra money and then she'd be able to go. (Well, I can tell you right NOW that there's NEVER going to be any extra money...) I told her that I didn't think she would have extra money and that it would only be every other month or so and that we would share the costs of course because I want some of the MC's time also. She said that sharing the cost would help, but that it was still a lot of money for her. Then she said ok, why don't you make an appt then. I said that she had wanted to make the appt, so why don't you get in touch with her. She said that she would email her to see what she has available. Last thing I said was that I didn't mind paying for it if she really wants to go and money is the only reason she won't/can't and then I switched subjects. This whole time it looked like she could start crying any minute, so I asked her if she was ok before she drove off and she said yes and then we said goodbye and she left.
I really don't feel like being the driver with the MC again. We'll see if she follows through on making the appt, I don't think I'm asking about it again. She knows the MC is a reliable source of good help and she has to make the decision to seek it. I might go by myself if she ends up not going, just for my own sanity.
After she left I did some thinking about the whole convo and came to the conclusion that her financial sitch really has a depressing influence on her. She's constantly out of money and she has a good salary (I know there a lot of families out there living on less than what she makes). I honestly don't know where all her money goes to. A lot of it is being sunk into her shop I know that and then she does buy a lot little things here and there that add up to a lot over the course of a month (she always has done that, noticed again during our trip).
I think the finances is what changed her attitude last week. We had such a good time on our vacation, then if you look back at what I wrote about Tuesday last week, you'll see that I felt like we turned a page, that's how upbeat she was, asking me about making plans for father's day, about seeing a movie together, hugging me after seeing me for only an hour or so... (she hadn't done that in about a year!) My guess is that she looked at her finances after that and saw in what kind of shape she was and went straight back to depression. She always put that on me, that I always seemed to have money and she didn't. Well, I never spent her money and only asked her to pay her share of the bills. Now, she's not even paying her share of the few bills we are still sharing and she's still out of money... I have NOTHING to do with that!
I can't help but think that the only conclusion you can come to assessing her sitch is that I am not the one making her feel miserable. Quite the opposite, when we were on vacation we just had a great time, relaxing and having fun. She clearly enjoyed that, spending time with me and the kids, asking me if stuff looked good on her, wore her ring a couple of times (noticed that!)... felt great... 4 days after coming back (Tuesday last week), she's all chipper and upbeat, making plans with me, hugging me... And then it's a big nosedive back to depressed state. Well, where did that come from? I didn't change!
