Newly separated...spouse left, 4th thread

[antlers]

I think you need to show consistent, loving actions towards yourself - if you see her then cool, if not, at the end of the day all of this is for YOU and your children, not her.

Treating yourself with consistency and love will make you a better father, man and partner. Now it might not make you a better parter to your W but one day, you will still be a better partner even if its with somebody else.

A while back my H said to me "whoever gets to be with you next is lucky because you have changed so much". LOL! Darn right they will be lucky! Since last July (July 08) I have seen my H a total of 5 times but we have had phone conversations and e-mails. I know I am a better me and one day that will make me a very good partner. Who will that partner be? WHO KNOWS! For now though I am my own partner and things are working out just fine in the new R I am having with myself.

Hi CityGirl.

I am doing just as you said in your first sentence. It bothers me to see her, like yesterday, because it makes me hurt...and I miss her a lot. I AM doing the work for myself, because it needed to be done...period, and my kids will benefit too! So will a future partner...I just would like for it to be the mother of my children.

I already am a better father than I've ever been, and I'll continue to do that work. I am a better man than I've ever been too, and I will continue with that work as well. I will be a better partner than I've ever been, and I have no intentions of ever stopping that work!

I think whoever you wind up with will be a lucky dude! Seeing him 5 times in a year isn't much. You sound like you have a great attitude, and are comfortable with being alone right now, and you sound very strong. I'm doin' better, I just miss her, and sometimes it really hits home. I'm sad about what's happened in the past...lots of remorse, and I'm sad that our family is broken apart, and I'm sad about our current situation. But I'm going forward. I am a better man, and I just want to be stronger and more powerful than I've been since this has all happened...I'd like to be more secure and confident than I've been since all of this has happened too!

I wish good things for you CityGirl too! I always appreciate your input.