I think that's a real good list, and I agree with 90% of what you're doing. Most people who go the "kill them with kindness" route also combine it with needy/grabby, pursuing behavior, and you don't seem to be doing that and in fact are busy with GAL stuff and even "being mysterious" (which I highly recommend).
I hate to say this, but I do think there is another man in the picture, at some level. It may not be physical yet, but all the warning signs are there. Right now, your wife probably actually RESENTS your changes/improvements, and has a "You a-hole, why didn't you do this before???" attitude towards you, which is where the anger is coming from.
My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing, but try to confirm if there is OM in the picture, since you said that would be a dealbreaker. If it's not, then just keep doing what you're doing but BE PATIENT -- it's going to take several months before she trusts that your changes are for real.
