Last 2 times I didn't go when it was involving these friends I sort of regretted (in our R there was always tension between me and H when it came to them because I just wasn't that interested). I would like to go if only for a little bit (maybe just drop off older son who will be with me).
Just for the sake of argument, I wonder what would happen to a) you and b) to your husband if you did go? Why not? You didn't go before and likely the friends get taken by H only because you let them go (although they don't get "taken" like that - that's your perspective and discomfort).
I wonder about the idea of the LA fog? I can see it would be easy to get sucked up into it. What would happen if you embraced that side of him? He obviously needs it to boost himself. I agree that he'll fall hard. But do you have to hate that side? Could that have been part of your marital issues in the past? I ask because your rants indicate to me that you have a hatred of his job and a strong dislike when he parents in a way that you don't like (i.e. not dangerous, but different than you would like). That stands out to me in these posts.
You will get through this. Make no mistake. You are obviously a wonderful person with a lot to give. You can't hide that in the number of posts you've made. You also seem to be avoiding some of the things to change about you either because you don't want to change or because you think they are normal and good and should be left alone because of that. I'm suggesting you cast off from the real world, but have you considered, I mean fully considered how you may have come across to H over the years?? The parenting differences must have been a source of friction whether you knew it/saw it or not.
If things go wrong in the world, this is because something is wrong with the individual, because something is wrong with me. Therefore, if I am sensible, I shall put myself right first. For this I need a knowledge of the innermost foundations of being . . . The true leaders of mankind are always those who are capable of self-reflection. ~Carl Jung
Your thoughts? AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
