Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Thanks girls for the congratulations !! Mish its just nice that you are happy for me. I keep posting, I want to keep up with others and also say things that may help, if I can! And yes Lisa.. it is VERY cool !!!

Kat, I do feel pretty calm and grounded these days and alot back to my old self..I do feel as though alot of my questions have been answered or that things are sooo back to normal (but better!) that it doesnt even matter anymore. We are getting a takeway from a top restaurant tonight.. I suggested a cheaper place near to his old flat and he said no, it was awful there..which made me think, he probably went there with Helen.. but so what? His head is probs full of bad memories and he shudders at the thought of her!!

But in terms of answers.. I am still curious as to how HE feels about her and why he dated her instead of came back to me last summer.. or even, if he really did fancy her before he left me. Its highly suspicious that he never mentioned he was working with her in June 2007 and was ringing her on his mobile when he went out for walks Aug-Oct.. so, just to draw a line under it, I would like him to respect me and my intuition enough to just admit that to me!! I just want to know, if she was a catalyst for him leaving, and then I will let it go as I'm pretty good at letting stuff go! At least I know, 100%, its over for good. Phew!

He hugged and kissed me last night in support of our dear cat that died the week before the bomb and this is the FIRST time he has mentioned it since he died in Oct 07. But more wierdly, I have a cold or hayfever, but havent mentioned it to him, just sniff alot.. Last night he was talking about his phonecalls with friends then suddenly said.. oh sorry, I havent even asked how you are today!..how are you? are you ok? and.. h you have a cold, are you alright?? He kept on all evening, fussing, eventhough I said I was fine, but he was super concerned and insisted on fetching me tissues etc.. But I had told him at our big talk Sunday that I had depression and was bad Aug - Feb, but had been ok since March and I was only telling him so that he knew that I understand now what its like for him having depression, and NOT to make him feel guilty. He was upset and I am feeling he is more and more aware of just how much he abandoned and hurt me and the effect it had and wants to make up for it by being super caring and helpful all the time.

SO wierd, what wierd tunnel do they go down when they leave? Its like they are incapable of being honest, or voicing real emotions, or showing concern and yet, once they are back.. the floodgates open.