I did 30 miles on my bicycle yesterday, and I just got through doing 35 miles today. My kids came back over yesterday morning, and they had a fun day playing with their friends, and I had a softball game last night. This morning I took all three of our kids horseback riding, and everyone had a good time. My oldest daughter (20) is still at the pool with my 11 y/o son and my 12 y/o daughter. I stopped by there for a little while on my way home from my ride. It's hot! They're gonne be coming home shortly! They'll spend tonight with me and then go back tomorrow night to their mom's. The kids and I have been having some pretty good quality times together.
I hope all is as well as it can be with all of the folks here who are working hard to make things better with their spouses, marriages, kids, and especially with themselves.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thanks. We all struggle from time to time...sometimes it's a lot harder than at other times. I've been keeping up with you, and I know you're torn. I'm sorry. I know this living in limbo crap is awful and hard...it's heart-wrenching. The pain and lonliness gets pretty bad sometimes. Sometimes, the pain, lonliness, and remorse are so great...it seems like it's too much to bear. I've just gotta be as strong as I can, and get through it.
I saw my wife yesterday when I was picking up my daughter from swimming. See didn't see me. My wife is the treasurer for the swim club, and she has to go by there occasionally. She looked absolutely beautiful, and I felt some hard pain because I miss her so much. She, like myself, is also in the best shape that she's been in in about 18 years. I'm still struggling with things today. It hurts pretty bad.
My father-in-law thinks I should write a one or two sentence note to my wife reconfirming that I'm sorry for all I've done to her and the kids, ask for forgiveness, and tell her of my continued desire for reconciliation and that I will no longer initiate any communication with her adnd will wait until she wants to communicate with me...and then don't call her whether it is one week or one year from now.
I don't know about this. She knows that I'm sorry, and I have asked for forgiveness, she knows how I feel about her and our marriage, and I haven't initiated any communication with her at all since April 30th. I don't know wheteher I should do this or not. Nothing is happening in this limbo, with 'us' anyway...at least it seems and feels that way.
I don't even know what I'd say, or how I would word it! Any help, or suggestions?
I don't want her to think that I'm pressuring her or trying to control her. I only want to show kindness and not put any pressure on the situation at all.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I'm not sure what good the note would do. Like you said she knows you asked for forgiveness she's choosing right now not to forgive you. You haven't initiated any calls why tell her your not going to do something you're already not doing?
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Antlers, What are your W's LLs? If she is a WOA then the note might help. Otherwise find ways to interact more without pursuing. Your W is noticing you and all of your self-care. I think the reason to show we are still interested is because our wives want us to "fight" for them. No expectations, be prepared for push back and don't take any bait. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Antlers, What are your W's LLs? If she is a WOA then the note might help. Otherwise find ways to interact more without pursuing. Your W is noticing you and all of your self-care. I think the reason to show we are still interested is because our wives want us to "fight" for them. No expectations, be prepared for push back and don't take any bait. Cheers
Perhaps some of the hit and run flirting I described on another thread...was it Stuck's? Can't remember...
Antlers, What are your W's LLs? If she is a WOA then the note might help. Otherwise find ways to interact more without pursuing. Your W is noticing you and all of your self-care. I think the reason to show we are still interested is because our wives want us to "fight" for them. No expectations, be prepared for push back and don't take any bait. Cheers
What's a WOA Coach? What other ways of interacting without pursuing, under our circumstances, are there? How is she noticing me when we NEVER see each other?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Antlers, What are your W's LLs? If she is a WOA then the note might help. Otherwise find ways to interact more without pursuing. Your W is noticing you and all of your self-care. I think the reason to show we are still interested is because our wives want us to "fight" for them. No expectations, be prepared for push back and don't take any bait. Cheers
Perhaps some of the hit and run flirting I described on another thread...was it Stuck's? Can't remember...
What's 'hit and run' flirting?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
