To become the kind of person that others are proud to be associated with and for my children to be modeled after. To be emotionally strong beyond words. To build an amazing relationship with my wife, and continued growth as a couple.
How are you going to get there ? by learning patience, serving others, overcoming bad habits, being a better friend to my wife, becoming an excellent provider of emotional and physical needs for my family. Many other things
What have YOU done to make those goals possible ? So many things.. My wife has commented on all the changes, but has admitted that she is happy for me, but it has no affect on her heart.
What is different about you today as opposed to this time last year ?
Are your actions ( not words ) bring you closer or farther away ?
I am more patient, more loving, less likley to stress, more willing to think of others first, more fit, better better better. Doing it for myself worth, but also for our marriage.
As they say on Family Fued ?
Good answer....The ONLY thing I would have liked to have seen different, is less about your wife or marriage as a reason for change.
These have to be for you to make them real.
Believe me, she will know the difference.
Originally Posted By: BBM
Now..my wife did see the OM in CA and she told me that she had lied about not seeing him. I am trying to understand that she needs to figure out her feelings, and she felt awful for not telling me and was afraid to for lack of fear that I would kick her out. From everything I have read she is in a MLC and fantasy world. She has told me that she is very cautious of her feelings and that he heart is far removed from our R. She has admired me for all the positive changed, but it is not affecting her heart.
MLC=Lying....No other way around it.
IF and I do mean IF this is a MLC. It is going to take a LOT of time for this to play out.
Not all MLC'ers are the same, but they do follow a certain un-spoken script.
Is she MLC ? Does it really matter to you that much ?
Cause you may never know that answer, better to NOT ask her. Good way to get your eyes scratched out.
Most MLC'ers are like cats, when they are done being petted and played with, they will scratch and claw their way out. I.E. spewing something horrible at you to make you stop talking.
MLC test results will vary, results take 2-5 years. ( NOT a timeframe, just little humor to lighten things up, cause you can't lose yourself in this )
Just read all that you can so that YOU understand what is happening. Maybe start a thread over in MLC and ask some questions.
Nothing you do right now will make a difference now, but everything you do now will make a difference down the road.
MLC is one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. This is a path that she needs to walk.
I have had the chance to talk to several MLC women that have made it through, and the one thing that is common, is the confusion that they all have over their decisions.
The selfishness overwhelms them and it is paralyzing. The control is a power trip.
My one friend told me that she had a baby, went to bed, and when she woke, her baby was four, and although she has vague memories of that time, it seems like it was a dream. Her husband shows her pictures of that time to show her that she WAS still there. But she has no memory of it.
She also ( as they all have ) has told me that it was the honor and integrity of her husband that drew her back. And the fact that he kept the promise of " Till death us do part "
