If we were D, they would have to go without me, right? Is not going an opportunity for H to see what he'd miss without me there? Or would going be an opportunity for H to see happy family times?
I'd appreciate feedback on this if anyone has thoughts on it.
Thanks!
IL, I understand your dilemma. We have to continually make decisions about what events we should say yes or no to. I had to grapple with the same thing regarding a vacation with my W.
In my case, I decided that given my W's behavior over the past six months, the logical consequence for her actions would be that I would skip this trip. Maybe the concept of logical consequences will help to frame how you should decide if you go or not.
I'm not thinking in terms of punishment, but to assess the R based on his behavior over a period of months, and determine if the R is at a point where the R can withstand the connection involved in a trip together.
In my case, I was able to see that my W wanted a companion. She has shown no signs of putting effort into reconciliation. I didn't think we could handle the level of connection required to make a trip together.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
