I understand Ken. NDS stich is weighing on me also. I felt the same back in January when your W rebombed you. Every single person I followed for the last year either got D, are well on their way to being D or have a WAS that is cheating on them.
Its depressing and the main reason I do not seek out newbees, I just cant stand to continue to watch M fail. I stick with you, Tim, a guy on FB and hope that MFT and WT stop by every once and a while to let me know how they are doing and that is it.
I am still M and working on it but its moving at a snails pace maybe even slower and sometimes I wonder if it will ever change, ever get better and if I have the strength to continue on. I know I do but I have those days also and they suck big time.
I am glad it is just thoughts and nothing with your W or any of her chitt.
Have a good day Ken. It will be what you make it so make it a good one.
It seems like the success percentage around here is around less than 10% or so (I'm sure I'm off, but I know it's dismally low).
I would say you actually guessed high....but no matter...this place says it's about saving your M but really it's not...it's just an advertising ploy to get traffic here..
you are living what this place is designed to do..you are saving yourself...and doing a damn fine job..
Quote:
It's hard to explain, but people who've experienced it will know what I'm saying.
I understand totally...when you completely detach all that will be gone...you'll look at her and see a blank sheet of paper..she will be someone you had kids with and nothing else..
Quote:
Nothing's changed on the outside...the sitch is still the sitch. It's just a down day that's all.
and one day closer to you being free and away from her..keep going...you're doing great..
Hi, I was on my way somewhere else but caught my eye. Just a quick reading and I wanted to say a few things to help. If it isn't helpful just let me know.
I have been here since end of Dec. and gotten great support! My sitch is turning around and we are reconciling. Most of my supporters are not at this point. It does get dep. but it is possible to succeed.
Secondly, I noticed your mention of W drinking and erratic moodswings - my H was similiar - we lived in chaos much of the time and couldn't have a normal life. We S in July, he realized his problem with drinking and has been sober since Feb 1. Things are very much different between us as he describes to me how clearer his mind is and how aware he is of how his drinking "poisioned" his thinking, decision making and life in general.
I understand Ken. NDS stich is weighing on me also. I felt the same back in January when your W rebombed you. Every single person I followed for the last year either got D, are well on their way to being D or have a WAS that is cheating on them.
Hey you two...I'm still alive, and it's still up and down in my brain, but the reality of it has sunk in. Some more snooping info tells me she is way too far gone to do anything right now, so the new chapter is in full swing.
I'm laying low, getting my ducks in a row and trying to plan the next steps.
I'm heading over to my thread for a short update, and off to work.
Thanks for thinking about me, and I'm sorry that my sitch has caused concern for you.
Tim...stay positive, and never let what you see happening with me or anyone else affect what you feel, want or what you are doing.
Steady...guess I am stepping in line right behind you brother..bringing up the rear.
Thanks for thinking about me, and I'm sorry that my sitch has caused concern for you.
Tim...stay positive, and never let what you see happening with me or anyone else affect what you feel, want or what you are doing.
Tim,
Weighing on me may have been a bit strong but it does make me think about my sitch and the fact that I cannot get lax or allow myself to take things for granted. I must continue to work on me and do things for me and not spend any more energy on my R than I have to at this time. My W may be driving our R but she should not be in control of me and thats what your current sitch has reminded me.
I am concerned about you because I know how it feels to read the things your have read and to lose total trust in the one person you should be able to trust completley. When your awake you want to sleep and when your in bed you stay awake.
I have not posted to you lately but I am following along and know that you need to do what is best for you and only you.
Take care and get out this weekend and enjoy yourself.
Weighing on me may have been a bit strong but it does make me think about my sitch and the fact that I cannot get lax or allow myself to take things for granted. I must continue to work on me and do things for me and not spend any more energy on my R than I have to at this time. My W may be driving our R but she should not be in control of me and thats what your current sitch has reminded me.
I understand....you know the funny thing is, it's only now that I realize just how much focus was put in the wrong places.
What makes my sitch even more hard to understand, is that she had accepted it all the past 14 months. Maybe not 100%, because I did get the reminders, but you guys know what the past year was like.
How could I have not thought that things were at least status quo, if not progressing in her mind.
I think back to all the posts from everyone, and the mantras..."she is watching"...."she doesn't believe the changes yet"..."she still loves you"..."it takes time"..etc.
If I can at least be an example of what not to do...I guess that helps...if it helps someone else, especially some body like you who has been hanging in like I was...that would make me feel pretty good.
GAL brother...Mike has been preaching the gospel, and he is hanging in there with you. I didn't get it, and it's way too far gone now...but just so you guys know..I'm good....kind of like I was hanging on by this stretched out rubber band...it's finally snapped and I've landed...shaking off the fall, dusting myself off and getting my bearings.
Still have not made it back to my thread and I'm at work now so will try.
What makes my sitch even more hard to understand, is that she had accepted it all the past 14 months. Maybe not 100%, because I did get the reminders, but you guys know what the past year was like.
Tim I've been following along with your sitch for quite some time now. I really felt your sitch had the best hope because of the interactions between your W and you. Your sitch was the most unique I've seen at these boards.
Originally Posted By: ndsmhelp
How could I have not thought that things were at least status quo, if not progressing in her mind.
I think back to all the posts from everyone, and the mantras..."she is watching"...."she doesn't believe the changes yet"..."she still loves you"..."it takes time"..etc.
Tim I'm as baffled as everyone else as to why it's now turned the way it has.
Originally Posted By: ndsmhelp
If I can at least be an example of what not to do...I guess that helps...if it helps someone else, especially some body like you who has been hanging in like I was...that would make me feel pretty good.
GAL brother...Mike has been preaching the gospel, and he is hanging in there with you. I didn't get it, and it's way too far gone now...but just so you guys know..I'm good....kind of like I was hanging on by this stretched out rubber band...it's finally snapped and I've landed...shaking off the fall, dusting myself off and getting my bearings.
Still have not made it back to my thread and I'm at work now so will try.
Sorry for the hijack Steady.
Tim (the other one)
No hijack here Tim. What gets posted on this thread needs to be here. Your last few posts have actualy helped me out quite a bit.
And remember, we're not that far apart. Perhaps a face to face might be good for the two of us. Friday nights are usually very good for me. Let me know. We can contact in the alt universe.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
