W was out of town so BFF dropped youngest off at my house prior to soccer. Later on I took youngest to soccer. BFF showed up at field with D to watch.
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This bit on @alive's thread caught me: "what you can currently live with without compromising all of your integrity and self-esteem?"
....house, BFF, not part social world, maybe I'll date - but nothing serious, here's ALL your stuff...
I just want to get away from it.
I changed some bills and bank stuff. Took my ring off (for now).
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It's hard to practice compassion sometimes, and this by far has been my hardest challenge yet. I know at some point I will have to work through it. For right now I need a break.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
The Black Dog is lurking around again. Looking for fresh meat.
It'll do that. You just have to stay off the menu.
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I was so content yesterday but today so conflicted.
Congratulations! You're human. I'll make a suggestion based on no knowledge of nuthin' but my own personal experiences. Being content one day and conflicted the next means progress. Means you're thinking. Means you're not fooling yourself.
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so tired of getting put through the wringer for this person.
So stop. Simple as that. Go through the wringer for YOU.
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Find out whether I should still go on that trip or not.
Dollar'll get you a donut you already know the answer.
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I feel like it's bearing down on me like 5m target with a bayonet
Okay, that's the way you feel. But is that what it is? Stockdale, man. It was the guys who "felt," who "believed" that paid the freight.
@Coach wrote: "Expectations will cause a free fall." Amen to that. Honest Abe, whom Coach apparently was in a previous life, wrote this: "The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time."
THE BEST THING ABOUT THE FUTURE IS THAT IT ONLY COMES ONE DAY AT A TIME.
It's hard to practice compassion sometimes, and this by far has been my hardest challenge yet. I know at some point I will have to work through it. For right now I need a break.
Yes the break is for you. Love yourself first. You can't practice comapssion when your emotional tanks are on empty. So what are you going to do to fill them up? You can handle it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Mission One right now is just to refill the emotional tanks.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Just a suggestion - something that I have found works for me. My emotional tank gets filled through interactions with other people - friends and family. If you are like me, the prime source of that was your W. Now you need to build / strengthen your R with other people.
First (now!), make a list of 5 old friends you would really like to reconnect with. Make another of acquaintences you could imagine becoming good friends with, and another of family members you haven't talked to in a while.
Next, get on the phone andf start calling those people. Make plans to play racquetball, meet for a beer, or just talk on the phone.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Yes, time alone at home doesn't do me well. I know I feel better when I with others.
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Just had a brief chat with wife about kids schedule. She mentioned she was really tired this week. After a brief bit of silence I said, "I know I've been a little quiet lately. It's nothing personal. I'm just taking a little time to regroup." Got a "Yeah, that's OK" in response.
Maybe the Db rules say I'm supposed to talk about how I was so busy in my new life with the new bungee jumping club in town I just forgot to call. But I was honest - I have some feelings.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Good visit with psy today. He said it was natural and maybe even healthy in a situation like this to want to retreat. Continue self-care and working on life. He thought I was doing well.
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Thinker, meeting up with people for hike today.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
