Help! Want direct feedback from walk away wive/s

[BigJohn]

Damn- I blew it! Slipped up and had an R discussion with my wife today. It's a long story, but basically it happened after we were discussing a project that she could really use my help on. If successful, there is a possibility of some sort of financial settlement for her- (not sure how big it might be).

Before the EA, I was passionate in wanting to help her with this project. However now in the midst of the EA, I am really conflicted about wanting to help her at all given the potential of the results of my work and effort potentially being used against me and/or for the benefit of my wife and the OM (presuming we are successful). So I told her this and one thing led to another and she stated that her position regarding us has still not changed- she doesn't want to work on our marriage and eventually wants to divorce.
She stated that during the last 2 weeks (while I was quasi-dark and GAL-ing) the only benefit had been that we didn't argue.

She continues to downplay her contact with the OM and states that her relationship with him is not influencing her judgment regarding our marriage. I am so sick and tired of hearing this! She is clearly addicted to the OM and the affair- I can literally tell when she wants her "fix", when she hasn't had her "fix" and after she has had her "fix". (Fix = cell phone contact.) I've tried to turn her on to this and other similar forums in order to test her beliefs but she'll have none of it. I understand that it's all supposed to be all about her "feelings" with little or no rational thought, but I'm beginning to believe that she realizes she IS addicted, she just doesn't want to be "cured".

This is so damn frustrating... I'd really like to hear more specific ideas from some of you former WAWs.