Still getting nowhere fast....

[lost-n-Iowa]

Well I have been away for a bit. I have been busy at work with a roof that has fallen apart, my rental property, and my vacation with my girls.

Things are going fine with H right now. We have had a few set backs. I tried to remain calm but it did not work right away. he had asked to use my computer. I wanted to trust him so I said ok. I found out later that he had looked up a porn site on it. I was mad instantly and ranted for a bit with my sister about it. In the end by the time that I had talked to him I was quite about it and was calm to him. I asked him why? He said that he really did not know. I said fine I did not need to really hear an explanation that I may not believe anyway and then told him that under no circumstances would I tolerate it. That if he wanted to make our M work that he had to stop porn surfing. His answer was that he thought it was no big deal and that he was frustrated so that is why he was looking at it, I said that I did not care why he was but that he was to STOP it or we would proceed to a D. I was not going to compete with it and if it was more important to him than me or the marriage than I was gone. I said that he would stop.

I know what you are thinking? Do I actually believe that he will he stop? I don't know but I have laid down the 'LAW' as I see it should be and if he can't go by it than I will have to enforce it.

I have been reading and following the DB books and I have been reading a book called Love Dares. I like that second book as it takes it day by day and dares you to do something. First day was to not say anything negative. Hard to do but was able to to. Second day was to do something kind without be asked. It seems like such simple things but if you really look at it it can be the basis for many different parts in my M.

Took the girls on vacation with my H. We had a very good time. Spent 2 hours just talking one of the nights with my H about many things, life, family, friends, our M, the kids, our feelings, ect. Was really good. He seemed to listen and did not tell me that my opinion is wrong just cause it does not fit his. I can only hope for these changes to continue.