CB is right. In my case, if I backed off completely, waited for her to give me the total green light for ML, it would only happen about twice a year. We did that for about 3 years straight, she was content, I was not, and in my weakness I ended up having an affair. I hate to think about all those wasted years while I waited for her. I basically stopped trying anymore during many years.
We are now ML about once a week and once in a while it is actually very nice. There is still something missing though. All of the desire comes from me. She placates me with sex but really she has no desire or interest in it for herself. Without the enthusiasm from her for me and wanting this for her own pleasure, it falls short of what I truly desire.
I have made it known now that I want a certain frequency of ML, I have that now (although 2-3 times a week would be better). I have made it known also that I want her to want me, I don't know if she will ever want me in this way again. I have been trying to decide if I can live the rest of my life in this one-sided sort of way.
I said in a post above that it's not an awful marriage. I want it to be a wonderful marriage though, that's what I truly desire.
You can read my sitch at the beginning of this thread It's Automatic When You Feel It . There are links to all of my threads, starting almost a year ago now, at the bottom of the first post. There is a lot more to my story.
