Hey guys... I have been busy and not feeling like lurking here for some reason. I guess when things are ok I don't feel the need as much although now I am behind on everyone else's sitch's. Yesterday I didn't see H. I was good. Today I saw him all day just about and I am a mess. Go figure. We had a good day which is why I am a mess now, I think. H came over to take my car in for a bunch of maintenence issues. We talked about it all...and some other business stuff. Some was good and at one point something made me upset and I started to cry. I went in my room and H came in to see if I was OK. I said yes...but it was obvious something was not OK. So, he asked me again if I was ok...and again. I told him it wasn't the (financial business) issue itself, just what it all represents. It is not a big deal and has nothing to do with D, just something that struck me. Anyway, H just hugged me and comforted me. Didn't really say much. I don't know...this is all just too much sometimes. I feel like I get somewhere and I screw up. I can see H starting to come sround emotionally. It just all seems too complicated to imagine it ever really working out. Ugh, the pessimism has a hold of me tonight.
There is a guy who I met the other night when I was out with my friends and co-workers. He is a friend of a friend and we were all out in a big group. We talked alot and I am sure he wants to ask me out. Are there any thoughts on this...I am confused at the fact that I actually find myself interested and/or if this is wrong or a bad idea. I know as far as physical is concerned it is a bad idea and I am not interested in that. I just wasn't sure if I am just feeling like being interested in. It is actually a good feeling right now. But scary. I feel like I would be cheating on H...but what are the boundaries when you are separated??? I wouldn't want him doing it...obviously. But he probably is and he left me. This is a question I have just pondered today when I found out this guy was interested in me and we had a good conversation the other night. So any thoughts would be appreciated.
