Since you brought up the beautiful comment, how does a guy show to you that you're beautiful? If your H told you, would you just think he's throwing you a line? Sometimes I would compliment her (before the bomb) and she would just roll her eyes.
Also, you mentioned something about her feeling depressed which is why she didn't want to talk to my mom last night. What makes you think that?
Having numerous feelings of guilt can make a person feel depressed constantly. No one chooses to stop having feelings for their spouse and when they do it can make a person feel extremely guilty - "I shouldn't be feeling like this, I should love them, why don't I, what's wrong with me, why do I feel attracted to other people, why don't I feel attracted to my spouse, etc. etc."
Can you see how that would make someone feel guilty & depressed? I can see it.
As for how to give compliments, I think you have throw some curve balls and act differently, currently you don't stand out much with your wife. How would you act if you were ultra confident (cocky, arrogant), were good looking, knew that you had high value (you felt like a 9 or a 10) and some really attractive woman walks into the room and you want to let her know that you notice her and like how she looks. Act confident, ooze it out of your pours.
I recently went out for coffee with my wife, it was weird how it worked out.
I asked her "...would you be interested in going out for coffee and maybe some pie some time this evening?"
She said why (of course, she did, always questioning everything).
I said ".... cause your beautiful ;-) and you know I'm just saying that so you'll go out for coffee with me".
She smiled, laughed a bit and said "I could do coffee, where & when?"
Sometimes you have to warm them up with your cocky, confident self. If she had said no, it wouldn't have been a big deal, I would have said "that's cool, maybe another time, no worries" and then I would have had plans to do something: go out for a drive, get a coffee for myself, go to the gym, etc. GAL means getting a life and stop pursuing her, limit your contact with her, create the space between you and let her fill it up instead of always occupying the breathing space between the 2 of you.
Small steps, no pressure, just be confident, assume the best and plan for either scenario because then you have all bases covered and you're not shocked or hurt either way.
