I hope that everything falls into place and soon. Well, how are the animals or should I say bird (thus far) making out? Lots of noise?
What's with the underwear? Did his grandfather find them? I can tell you, they will accuse you of anything and everything when they have that disease. They also can be very mean and strong too.
I'm glad the wife stepped up and suggested that your son receive some compensation. That's not an easy job.
Please rest as much as you can.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.