Why not?

[AJM]

I think the idea of a schedule is actually for the kids sake. It allows them to know when to expect they will see parent x. It's not really designed for you except as a byproduct of their planning.
What you have now is a framework of a schedule if you ask me. Schedule it and make it more regular. It'll help all of you very much I think.

As for the parties and school events, I think that's up to you. But the school events you may want to emphasize for the kids sake. And yours and your husbands. Just don't overdo it, right?

You are doing well AK. Don't think for a second you are not. It's just that it is time for a little adjustment and you may want to consider the scheduling of kids time a good place to start.

Don't leave open days, but instead you may want to leave the door open for negotiation - i.e. These days the kids are with me, and these days they are with you unless otherwise negotiated at least x number of days in advance (be reasonable - this is about the kids and not about you and H but you do need to plan as you start to get your own life in order and start moving along.) The idea is to share the time in a reasonable and respectful way. Respectful of the children and of yourself and your husband.

Respect always starts with being given long before it is received.

As for the visitation by H, have you considered just designating the day of the week to have him come over for "family" time?

Just a thought.

AJ