What does your L say about the Satan comment and this crazy behavior? I don't think it's nit picking at all. I think it's clear cut parental alienation AND crazy behavior to boot.
I'm concerned that your w is headed down a dangerous road wherein she'd say anything to hurt you and or get the kids in full and you are not seeing that. I'm concerned that your L is not proactive enough. Please tell me that she, THE L, is doing something about this. She does not require the LG to tell your w's L that you won't stand for this and I honestly think a psych eval for your wife is called for or at least implied.
Your w needs to back off big time from bad mouthing you to the kids. The more you let her do this FIB, the more she'll take. I fear for you. I really do and I want to know why your L says if you leave the home you'll never be divorced...??? I am NOT saying to leave, but am saying this is sounding fishy to me. Like churning legal bills. I think you said you like your L so I don't want to interfere in that R, but I DO want to know wth is getting done about your w's vicious sick comments To you and about you to the kids...Doesn't take a guardian ad litem to tell her to shut up b/c she's saying a nasty WEIRD thing...takes a serious letter from YOUR L to HER L that says "knock it off or we'll request a full psych eval b/c SHE IS NOT FIT as a mother, and if she were, she would learn to keep her nasty mouth shut..."
FIB, healthy women don't tell their kids that their dad is satan. (I'm Catholic, trust me on this.)
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25...that Satan thing was in my cross motion. But...it worsens:
A Setup
I sleep with my phone on my person or on the nite table next to me. It serves as my pager and as a surgeon, I must hear it. The night before, I fell asleep with the phone on the bed next to me.
At about 6 AM, I woke up to see that my son had crawled into the bed ...later to find out that he had a bad dream. When I got up...my cell phone was nowhere to be found. S8 told me that 'he saw it on the right side of the bed on mommy's side'. It was not there. I began to look for it. S8 began to blame himself for knocking it down. He began to look for it too.
I took off the sheets.
I lifted the mattress.
I looked under the bed.
It was gone
I approached STBXW about where my phone was. I didn't yell or scream. She denied it...emptied her bag...tossed her keys at me and told me to search her car.
I researched my room. No phone. STBXW accused me of taping her with it nights before when she had an outburst about sleepovers with the kids and threw our nephew out of the house on Saturday night (age 6), causing both kids to cry and denying S8 his sleepover with his cousin. This was a power thing for STBXW.
I approached STBXW....asked her to put it back...no questions asked...that I had nothing incriminating against her on the phone...to let S8 be the hero and find it. She denied everything.
I searched the bedroom again. Nothing.
The kids went to school.
STBXW left for work.
I looked one more time....the phone was under the bed...about an armslength in.....too far for the kids to reach....and...placed where it wasn't thru several searches. I lifted the mattress 3 times.
I never place my phone under the mattress...I would miss calls from the hospital and ER.
Last night, I was served by the Sheriff...in front of the kids...for new orders of protection...claiming I emotionally abused her in front of the children (our recent OP's expired in May). She also added that I was sleeping with our son.
S8 collapsed to the floor crying. We had just had a wonderful catch outside earlier and I had just bathed them and gotten them ready for bed.
I now have to appear on July 16th. The order doesn't stipulate that I am thrown out.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I am indeed sorry to see that she has taken full leave of her senses. To attack their father with the law in front of the kids.
But she is "entitled" after all. Her life is coming apart and she must blame you for it.
You of course will need to counter motion.
In the interim Frank, as hard as it is you need to keep the kids out of your room, especially your bed. You need to take the kids to thier doctor for any checkups and such. Be careful even when showing affection. The kids will understand.
You have no choice now. You need to protect yourself. If the order specifically stated that you are sleeping with your kids, there is no stopping her accusing you of anything. You need to take steps or you will get tossed out or if it becomes a slug-fest, the kids may end up in a foster home or something.
As hard as it is, you must focus on your future and not the present. Just look at your posts recently. Every day, all about her. Constant one-upmanship on each other. Ballgames, who gets them from the bus, who has what time, and now a missing phone.
She will win that war FIB. She has nothing else to do all day but make your life h-ell. She has the full support of her parents. You have nothing.
Stop playing her game. Let her win more than not. Better to throw down the sword and walk away than to be destroyed. Yes, turn your back on the emperor. That is how to survive in the end.
All this sh*t ends with the divorce. Then she cannot hurt you the way she is now. You (and she) get to do what you want with the kids when you have them.
Get the divorce done. Work with your lawyer to get it done. It has been over a year. What is the delay? Why has your lawyer not made her an offer yet?
The focus should be getting it done - not point/counterpoint with her. Everyboby loses that one. You cannot prove she is unstable or a threat to the kids. And unless you can prove that kids are in harms way, you two are fighting over parenting approach. And the courts will not step into that.
Don't use the courts to battle each other. Use the process to get it over with.
I dont know if this comes out right but I am concerned about you. Like worried? Like I feel a plot being executed and I dont feel you are protecting yourself as much as you could? I dont know. This whole mess is to throw you out of the house? Its sounds like the War of the Roses escalating there. Even though you dont initiate acts of war.
I wish I could help more with solid advice about Ls and laws etc but I think 25yrs covers that part. Maybe if you become a bit more...proactive, attack is the best defense, do you have that saying? All I can do is wish you the best, patience and strength. And of course, honor. xxx K
I spoke with my L last night....and she just called back...we are going to file a motion. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
To all...this all began after my appraisal came back in my favor. I understand all your concerns and if I had the power to get this done quicker....I would exercise it.
I am shaken. After 2 years, my appetite is down again. Although Jeff's post's suggest a tit for tat...I have been barraged since the appraisal came in. FIB
Thanks for your support. Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I am shaken. After 2 years, my appetite is down again. Although Jeff's post's suggest a tit for tat...I have been barraged since the appraisal came in. FIB
It is a tit for tat if you respond to her attacks. Even an indirect response, such as poor appetite, is a response nevertheless.
Shaken but not stirred. Try to take care of you. Focus on you. Shake off her attacks by flowing with the stream and not against it.
Yea, I know it is hard but I know who I am talking to and I know that man is made of mighty strong stuff.
I have no words to describe my amazement at just how low your wife will stoop to win some kind of victory over you or even just to inflict additional pain on you. It truly defies words.
I'm inclined to agree with Jeff that things seem to be reaching a critical mass regarding your wife. She has shown no hesitancy to take ANY step that she thinks will destroy you. You should not assume that ANYTHING is off limits in her mind.
Yes, you have to protect yourself and thereby indirectly protect your children. Without you they are at her mercy. If it means no sleeping together then you must be willing to stop it for now. I have no problem whatsoever believing that she would try to paint you as a child abuser.
Understand our frustration for you regarding the length of this process. It baffles my mind when I see you post about how long it would take to get divorced if you chose to move out. Look at how long it is taking to get it done NOW???
Press your lawyer Frank. Make it clear to her that the priority is now to at least move this process far enough along that the physical separation can occur and a formal parenting plan put in to place. Even if it means paying rent to live in the house or some other such nonsense, it would be well worth it to be done with the daily attacks. There MUST be a way that a seasoned attorney can move this along at least THAT far more quickly than it is moving now.
You have to find a place of peace Frank. You need some time on your own, time to decompress, time to be around normal people, time to be alone. Work is not a place of peace - though I'm sure it's preferable to being home and facing her drama.
I too am worried about you. I cannot begin to imagine the madness that you are dealing with, the never knowing what's coming next. Find a way to be like teflon my friend.
Standing by, wishing any of us could do more to help.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
FIB, you and your children are in my prayers daily. Do what you must to protect yourself.
And just because you like your lawyer, doesnt mean she is doing the right thing. Can you do some research regarding what she is telling you? It just doesnt make total sense that it would take longer if you lived elsewhere.
It cannot be ok to have to live with what you and your childrend are living with. Filing motions and countermotions and all is one thing, but it seems to me that there HAS to be something that could be done NOW to stop the craziness before it degenerates any further.
FIB, start pushing this lawyer. Start advocating for yourself. You are paying her.
You are in my thoughts. Let me know if there is anything I could do to help.
