I agree that We do have the same goals, I think. Which is the full restoration of marriages. But PT and I do disagree with the approach to take when it comes to affairs and whether his approach, right or wrong, is in line with the philiosophy of DBing as well. We still disagree.
But there are also situations on this board that we are in total agreement on as far as approaches to use. I have actually asked posters to ask him questions at times b/c his approach is different and some posters need to hear that OR they need to hear a man say the same thing I said. Goes both ways on that. When I first came here, I wanted advice from people who'd been through something like I was enduring, and had "won" or at least survived, and I wanted men's views b/c I literally did not understand how my h could be acting so differently and out of character and needed a guy to explain. Back then, FIB and Was2 and several other great wonderful men posted to me and I owe them so much thanks. No matter what happens in our worlds, it's good to know that the "other side" is not the enemy. Coming here helps with that a lot.
Regardless, don't let the discussion dissuade any of you from reading the book, "Blue Like Jazz" which has provoked great internal dialogue for me (and h, which I guess means it's not all internal anymore...) about how to incorporate our faith in a more proactive way in the community, and our family and what not to do. (An offshoot of that is why I posted about shame, but it's not the theme of the book, if you kwim.)
Anyhow, gotta go work for a living again...or pretend to.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
