You are often posting on kev4's site (thank you for that) and you know the drill. You must use a much more realistic timeline. If you feel that YOU cannot endure this beyond a certain point then come up with an internal deadline that you might not share with your w, so you can have a light at the end of the tunnel and know that you'll move on then if she's not back. At that time however, YOU can alter it or renew it and try for some more time. (I dont' advise telling her this b/c it'll sound like an ultimatum that you don't want to enforce) This is for YOU only. So you'll know the limbo isn't forever.
I had a 2 year GOAL, b/c I had a d in high school I hoped to provide stability for so she could graduate without moving, etc. But in my heart and mind I wasn't sure I could stay M that long if there was no movement but at least I had that goal. Never told H about it. Usually had 6 month timelines in my head. "See what I feel THEN" is what I'd tell myself.
And when I finally thought, "when d graduates, I'm done..." it must have showed b/c there was movement from H before that and yes it was clear movement. first the "comfort" times without arguing and then some bonding experiences but at some point the WAS who wants back in, does make it clear. If not, that's an answer for you. If they are still "iff" when they claim to want back in but are only half way...then you have some tough choices to make. But you are not there yet.
Be much more patient Stuck. Much more. In sum, "what sandi said..."
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
