My wife and I had an initial meeting with a mediator. I came straight from work, so I was in dress pants and an open-collar dress shirt, no tie. My wife wore a skirt and a nice blouse. The atmosphere, at least with this guy, was very casual.
It's pretty casual, Karen. Just look nice. I wouldn't suggest shorts, tank top and flip flops. A pair of slacks and a blouse or a dress is fine. It's going to be casual, most likely. You'll have a place to express what you want and your concerns. I don't think you being layed off will have any impact. And, I'm sorry, your H was in the wrong, in my opinion. Your children are old enough to know what is going on. I would be pissed off if my Mom kept something like that from me. The safety comes in telling them the truth, keeping them informed and assuring them that everything will be okay. He was basically asking you to lie to the kids. I disagree. You did the right thing. However, I do agree that he should have been informed, also. I feel the same, however, my H tells me NOTHING about K or his one day a week with her (what he considers enough time with his daughter). And, as much as I DO NOT want to keep him informed about ANYTHING, I still do it, because I need to. Good luck at mediation. Go in there knowing what you want...seriously.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Thanks for the advice, everyone. Thanks for dropping by Corey!
I'm actually having a good time catching up on homeschooling, running errands and boring mom stuff. I've unpacked some of the boxes, about 4 down and about 50 to go!
I got a call this am about D9's speech therapy. The rehab center said H has been pressuring them to try to set her for a speech therapy appt. asap. (She sounded irritated or annoyed with him, and I can relate). I set it up for early next month b/c she's in camp all this month. He makes me nervous sometimes; like being married to a snake or something. I try not to think like that, but maybe some caution is good. Karen
He thinks he can bully everyone to his way of thinking and doing things. Sad really. Was he like this even in the beginning? If so maybe you were thinking you could change him?
Maybe you should create your own job, I think I have mentioned it before. You could go wait for the plumber, cable man, repair man whatever so your client didn't have to take off work. Or you could be an errand runner, thus giving your clients the gift of time. You are open now, why not give it a go? I have a lot more ideas along those lines if you want to hear them.
Hope you are making a lovely day. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
He thinks he can bully everyone to his way of thinking and doing things. Sad really. Was he like this even in the beginning? If so maybe you were thinking you could change him?
Maybe a tiny tiny bit, but not noticeable like now. We were both college students when we dated/first married and he had jobs like selling snow cones and stocking at a grocery store. I think law school changed him a bit, and he's been supervising (over a hundred other Ls) the last 5 or 6 years and I think that really changed him. I talked to a bff last week who's been friends with me for something like 30 years and friends with H as well, and she said he was a nice guy back then so he has changed I think. I wouldn't call him that anymore. I've gotta go volunteer at theatre camp (making costumes today). Karen
My H is a bully too. He made everyone's life hell if they didn't do or give him what he wanted. I am thankful that I don't have to deal with that on a daily basis anymore. Now, I can just go inside when he is bullying me and he can't come. Have fun with the costumes. I have to sew K's tutu tonight.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Another calm day. Boring is good. Homeschooled and cleaned house, and searched for jobs online. Tomorrow D9 and I are going to see the C and then they asked me to volunteer at the theatre tomorrow. I'm hoping to see a bit of the play too, Aladdin, that D9 is in. Hopefully pick up S15 (he's at his dad's along with D9 tonight).When I dropped them off tonight I load up S15 with the backpacks and D9 loaded with her toys and lunchbox (packed her snacks & lunch for tomorrow). then I practically jump into the car at high speed. H had me stop so he could give me the health plan cards for the kids and I which they insist on sending to him (the 2nd time) even though I asked them to mail to my address b/c he's the primary insurance holder or whatever they call it. Yeah, I'm the one who has the kids 90% of the time though! Hope everyone's having a good day. Kat, glad to hear the good news about your fan. Karen
I set it up for early next month b/c she's in camp all this month. He makes me nervous sometimes; like being married to a snake or something. I try not to think like that, but maybe some caution is good. Karen