Gonna Get Me A Mojo Hand

[AlexEN]

Kett,

Yes... That is the fineline that, while so obvious, seems to take the longest to achieve in RL.

This is why I find myself conflicted about some aspects of DB. GAL, act "As If", don't pursue, no R talks ... all fine to a point, especially when done in the service of personal growth and autonomy as opposed to attempted manipulation. But any system that encourages systemic deception about one's authentic emotions -- intense and messy and "pressuring" as they may be -- runs the risk of causing a whole new set of problems, however many problems it may solve. IMHO.

It's one of those easier said than done things EVEN when you do get it -- especially given by crises that are going on in parallel. Whether or not DB'ing succeeds, the only changes one should make are the ones (a) that are "authentic", or (b) if made to "please" someone else, are NOT "inauthentic", which, despite the double-negative are not the same. VERY Stupid example for the latter... I can hate making the kids beds or doing the laundry, but its a change I can make even though if given my druthers I'd avoid each of them like the plague. But, ingratiating oneself by doing things that are contrary to one's authentic self because you think it will draw back the WAS IS manipulative and won't have a long half-life.

-AlexEN

P.S. Kett & A&K, that was a great exchange while I was typing the above... I hope Coach finds some of it worthy of quoting...