Quick question. It will be a week tomorrow and when I stand up or sit down it still feels like an hour ago someone kicked me in the family jewels. When does this go away?
It goes away slowly over about a 2-3 week period, although you won't feel fully "back to normal" for a couple of months. Be good to yourself, walk easy, and sit gingerly.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
Yeah I had those random kicked-where-it-counts feelings on and off for about 2-3 months. The first month was the worst. It's been about 5 months now and I feel completely normal again.
Take it easy on yourself. It does get better. I had all sorts of doubts about it as I healed. The doubts are all gone now.
The good news is "the plumbing" has been feeling better over the past two weeks. Still a bit off, but tolerable.
W has been out of state for work for 2.5 weeks and is coming home at the end of this week. I went to visit her the first weekend and we had a great time. Even did a Sunday morning quickie, despite her being at the end of her period (she never normally will do anything, unless "the monthly bill has been fully paid"). We have been texting a lot and in a friendly way. I sent her a nice card, which she will hopefully get before she heads home (as of yesterday she hadn't after a full week) and I have texted her pictures of the kids and other things. Have been doing really great as Mr. Mom, even though it has cut into work and couldn't keep doing it. But, overall it has gone well.
Here is my challenge. All the banter has been friendly and non-sexual. I would like to relight the fire in a way that let's her know I have expectations after she gets back. I was thinking of sending her a text suggesting we text each other what sexual things we want to do when she returns and going first. What do you think? Any other ideas?
You guys were great last time I asked and really helped.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
I wouldn't text her and suggest that you exchange sexy texts... Just throw one out there. Tell her what you're going to do to her. Or tell her to be ready... See what comes back!
Sure! I should have expounded that making the suggestion is sort of testing her receptiveness (lame-o) versus demonstrating your leadership and confidence by just lobbing it out there. Even if you don't get a reply, it's going to make her wheels turn.
Part of my hesitation is we are not exactly a "talk dirty" couple and I am not in my comfort zone. While this isn't a bad thing, I want to say something that turns her on, not that sounds creepy or over the top. I guess my thinking was that if she was "in on it" and participating, I would be more comfortable in what I sent.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"