But any system that encourages systemic deception about one's authentic emotions -- intense and messy and "pressuring" as they may be -- runs the risk of causing a whole new set of problems, however many problems it may solve. IMHO.
Yes, so many have heard "you seem to be doing so well without me." It is quite the mindf*ck.
I think the bottom line though is that healthy attraction is not based on need or guilt...I mean SP can't fill her void. If "fighting for her" overtly made her feel loved and cared about enough to "take him back" that dynamic would probably be a bit twisted.
If however, a stable, secure, attentive, healthy SP rouses Mrs. SP to come back to the table, she will be showing up as 50% and they'll have a better shot at reconciling (which is a major undertaking, as we all know).
I don't know if that makes sense...Mrs. SP has some work to do to be able to meet SP where he is.
Forgive my rambling, trying to learn from this too.
