It's automatic when you feel it

[mamanpc]

Hi Cinco,
i'm a LD wife as well - and i have the feeling (but of course i may be wrong because i don't know your sitch) that a key step could indeed be when you 'decrease the pressure' as much as possible towards your W. Then indeed she can relax in your presence and consider ML as a possible option. It seems like refusal to ML has become a kinda 'reflex' reaction - almost automatic - and it will take some time in the 'no pressure zone' for her to get out of that 'autoreflex' mode.
I also was pleasantly surprised when H stopped attempting to ML because i was too exhausted to enjoy it - i could sleep, it was great! and afterwards we had a much more nejoyable session togehter.