Phew... Im getting ready to call H. It will be our first actual conversation in a long, long time, Im not positive exactly how long, but its been months. Ok, I will let you know how it goes... Wish me luck!
Good luck!
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
It went well. We stayed away from R talk and kept things upbeat. I reviewed my notes from my phone counseling session with jodi, and I think that it went well. We talked for about an hour and I ended the convo because I am going out with some friends and needed to get ready. After I texted him and said that it felt really good to hear his voice and thanked him. He replied and said that it felt good for him too.
When do I start bringing these relationship things up? Do I wait for him to? I am not sure if I need to bring them up at all. I really dont think that he would do it again. But Im not sure if thats realistic, I do think that some things need to be brought up. But I am feeling more hopeful for us than I have in a long time.
And as far as the job thing goes? Im not even worried about it right now!
Last edited by bluerain; 06/13/0912:03 AM.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
What a great weekend! I took the dog to the beach today, like I dont spend enough time down there for work! He really enjoyed it and its nice to get him all worn out. Chasing sea birds and finding nasty things to eat, what a great dog day!
I talked to H via texting last night. Having this physical distance between us is a blessing sometimes, but its also really hard sometimes. I know that its forcing us to move slowly (which is good, hopefully), but I also worry that its going to make breakthroughs really tough. I feel like one of those eHarmony internet dating couples.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Trying to catch up on your post. Thanks for what you said on mine.
Seems we are relatively in the same place. A few thoughts...
I took things very slow in the beginning. Agree that being apart helps in some ways but not in others. But it allows time to reflect on experience and figure out what work etc. Also allows time to take next planned step.
I would advise that while R issues do need attention - since that is what got us here - I have found that focusing on rebuilding the R first is important. Think about it - when you first date someone, do you start talking about serious issues? or do you just talk and have fun?
Timing to bring up issues will reveal itself when the R begins to grow again. In my experience, R talking always ended poorly. Even now, things get tense, so we are learning to back off. Two things will happen - either it goes away naturally as R changes, or it comes up for discussion again. Avoid taking things personally and stick to the issue in front of you for now.
I am finding out that part of the problem H and I have is that we both try to fix everything for the other instead of taking self responsibility and staying out of the other's way. Make sense?
I just gave U of Ak 664 bucks. Ouch! Oh well, I had to do it to sign up for more classes this fall. Things are shaping up like this: At least for 1 more semester Ill stay where I am. Fish and Wildlife is checking into placing me at the office in Anchorage next spring. That should be about perfect timing for me. H and I are planning on working on our friendship, though it does sometimes get a little on the romantic side, but it feels great. He knows that I am planning on going to Anchorage to get a leg up on my degree, and he doesnt want strangers living in our house, so no renters, but that can be sorted out later!
Off to the beach I go!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I was noticing something about myself the other day. I have become very sensitive to what H does, or doesnt do. If he doesnt call, or text I wonder if hes having second thoughts, he does always eventually contact me, I dont initiate the contact as often as I used to, which is tough! This is hard, I wish that I could see him, I feel like I would have more of an idea of what hes thinking.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I made the appt to have my old dog put to sleep. Next saturday the vet is going to come to my house (which I am so thankful for!). I told H and he seems pretty sad that he wont be here for her in the end. I guess he shouldnt have stuck it in a 22 year old! I hate him for making me do these things on my own!
So I made her a cake today, her birthday was last week, shes only 6, and got her one of those giant bones, which she is sleeping with right now. Im just getting geared up to have a really good week with her, spoiling her as much as I can.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
So sorry about your dog, br. I've had dogs the past 20 years now and they really are family members. I'm glad you're having this week together but so sorry. I've gotten used to being single pretty much, but sometimes there are those times when it would be great to have another person to be there. But you're working on that and get'll there soon I'm sure. ((((((br))))))
