Well, its been a few days but our R has got worse I'm afraid. Because my W is not getting things her way now she really is becoming quite nasty.
She sent a response letter to me for the one I sent her asking to pay half the mortgage, community charge and help with the utility bills. She has succumbed to this but her response was that I am a vindictive, greedy and nasty man only concerned with money, I will only pay the minimum child maintenance, and basically more personal attacks.
This is unwarranted as up to this point I have validated her and enabled her lifestyle. I also signed D papers when presented with, I moved out of the marital home to give her space, so I would say I have done my part in trying to keep things orderly and civil.
Her staying out and buying personal items continues, she is still rushing things through, though I am going to fight with her over the final settlement which I an afraid is inevitable.
I am moving back into the marital home this weekend when my W and children move into my PIL's house. My W tried to prevent me doing this but the law was on my side so I am returning until the financial situation is sorted out. She is trying to get me to move out before but I am refusing to, therefore she is now using the children as an excuse for me to move out, but I am not really buying this as a reason.
The only positive is my time with the children which is precious to me. I miss them so much when I don't see them and I am very sad. I still love my W, but she has told me again she does not love me, in fact she stated she is starting to despise me over my behaviour, so any chance of a reconcilliation in the future is doomed I feel.
I would like some feedback on my post, just advice or just some support would be great.
Mark,
I'm seeing nothing POSITIVES (which I've highlightedabove), unless you count how she's REACTING to this, which, really, was to be expected, was it not???
So learn to steel yourself against her bluster, and revel in the satisfaction of learning to "DO THE RIGHT THING" and the things that are going your way.
I realize, this requires a change in the way you think about things, as you move away from a co-dependent "Will this make her mad? How will she react? How will her reaction make ME feel?" paradigm and into this "DO THE RIGHT THING IN EVERY SITUATION" one, but it is, nevertheless, what you need to do, in my opinion.
