I have to back up what LuckyGirl has said in regard to providing POSITIVE feedback for every tiny step that your husband takes in reviving and exploring *his own* sexuality, and directing that male sexuality towards you. I know, first-hand what it is like to watch your spouse take tentative, faultering, baby-steps, when instead what you are really dreaming of is the two of you running together (in the bright sunshine, with the wind in hair, queue majestic soundtrack...). However, those first steps are often the hardest for them to take, and require YOU to provide encouragement and positive feedback if you want to see them take more. Otherwise, they'll give up and sit right back down in the wheelchair again.
Heaven knows, I'm guilty enough myself of sometimes pushing my wife too hard, too fast, and not stepping back and expressing proper and genuine appreoiate for the marvelous strides that she has made to improve our sexual relationship. Occasionally, she becomes so exasperated with me (and discouraged) that she exclaimes "No matter what or how much I do, it's never enough for you, is it?!". That's not something that you want to hear, as it just makes your SSM recovery that much more difficult to get back on track. So do as I say, not as I've sometimes done.
Secondly, do NOT listen to the dictates of our western culture with regard what is attractive and sexy in a woman. It's both a self-promulgated lie and an impossible standard to meet. The TRUTH is this: you are sexy and attractive if YOU BELIEVE that you are sexy and attractive. It's simple. If you vibe sexy, you ARE sexy. On top of that, even within our skinny-worshipping culture, there is a significant subset of men who love full-figured, curvaceous women, and find them sexy as hell. I'm one of them, and hope that your H is one too!
