Stress, WAW and life in general III

[AJM]

She did go. She's not talking much about what the doctor said. Sunday night I took over a sandwhich and some fruit for her. She's losing weight but not working out as much. I think she's having more trouble functioning.
She related that she went and that everything physical (she stressed that) was great. Numbers were really good. I told her that was great and she remarked that she was fine physically, but mentally that might be a different story.

I've noticed that her pupils are dilated a lot. Not sure what that's about, but in the past that was something I noticed when she was really in the depression. Even in bright light they seem to be huge much of the time. Not sure what I'm seeing...

She told me last night (when she came over for family dinner) that she is not going to run the Marine Corps marathon this year. She says she has too much on her plate. I asked her about her other running buddy and she said she just can't deal with him right now (he's going through separation.) Says she has too much other stuff to deal with. She mentioned she had a list of things to deal with. I asked if she wrote them down, and she said not yet but plans to.

I think the checkup was a good one, but can't tell what happened. Worries me a bit, but I have nothing I can do. She also tells me she wants to go to the next MC session on her own. I said it was fine by me. Not sure what she's doing, but this is her journey. My task seems to be not to get sucked into it and depressed or crazy or looney myself. Working on that is becoming a full time job. Since my full-time job doesn't pay enough since they cut my hours back, I have my own issues to really deal with right now as far as putting the house payment together each month. Struggles, struggles, struggles.

I miss her. I do, but I cannot be dragged into the craziness right now. I try to keep an eye out as much as I can so I can keep her from getting hurt, but otherwise, this is her journey.

AJ