Ashlee, you are absolutely not alone and you are not crazy for wanting to save your marriage.
I would read the book(s) asap - I know you will. I thougght DR was the best, but both are great.
One thing you will learn quickly is that all pursuit of your H has to stop - NOW. It will be hard, but pursuit will only make him run more. You need to find somewhere away from him to grieve - you will do it and it's ok. Just not in front of him.
Focus on you and your kid(s).
Most of all, hop on the books. Then you will be ready to absorb the advice here that much more.
