Firecracker, yes indeed! You and your DD's are definitely that. A pack of black cats in a red paper wrapper!
You sound great -- and I know what you mean, to drop the rope can be such a relief! No more tiptoeing around the eggshells.
(Now if I can get xW to slacken up on the other rope -- the one attached to our kids. Thankfully your DD's are old enough to avoid being so used by your spouse.)
I will say that there is always going to be that twinge of regret that your efforts to preserve your M did not have the results you wanted. That's only natural. But then you were only really obligated for 50 percent of that effort anyway -- and you gave more than 110 percent of your half. The other half that your H was responsible for was left undone -- and without both parts it was never going to work.
So yes, you can walk tall in knowing you at least did your part.
