Well, all went as well as could be expected with our talk w/D18. Some crying, some embarrassment, some understanding, some "feeling lost."
However, I know for sure she's MY D18 now... LOL Because she woke up with a vengeance. Completed the Junior College application, went to a 1 1/2 hour college planning session, went and got her transcripts from her high school, went to a meeting w/an advisor/counselor, applied for three jobs, then worked three hours at the MD's office she helps at once in awhile.
So, (Nice Mom MB), allowed her to have the boyfriend over last night... even though she's grounded!
H was superb during the talk w/D18. He let me handle most of it, but if she started to get a little too emotional, or started to talk back to me, he stepped in and helped her understand. After we were done, she came back in our room a few times (while H was in the shower), asking for him to come to her room when he was done, as she wanted to ask him something.
She wanted to know if it was doable to get an apartment w/some friends, based on xx number of hours a work per week, and xx number of hours of school per week. So, he gave her an idea... (I'm pretty sure this was what was behind the idea to wake up with a vengeance!)
AND, we got EIU to hold her application and registration/housing fees until next Fall season. She's not dropped, she's on hold.
Yea!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Nice to see your non-emoticon'd faces! (SP, I agree. Get rid of those.)
SP - Charleston is correct. Great campus.
Soooooooooo...
Had a decent weekend. Only ONE soccer game! Wahooo! The season's wrapping up, done in a few weeks, and then they get a break until the next club season starts... only four weeks later! Some break!
H and I took all three of the kids to one of D18's grad parties Saturday night. Great party! We all had fun. Couldn't stay late, though, we had to get up early to get ready for D18's party yesterday.
Her party was awesome. We had about 100 "friends and family" during the late afternoon. We grilled on the boathouse, had the rest catered, played volleyball, (redneck horseshoes?), etc... THEN, D18's friends arrived (about 9 or 10), about 50 of them! They were a blast. They had a bonfire, played ping pong and pool. Only had to "bust" a few.
Had to show a select few (3 of our closest friends kids w/their Mom's there) that a Mom can still be fun. MB (Mom of Mom's) did a keg stand! LOLOLOL Can I just say? That was awful, but I lasted 24 seconds! Mr. MB did one, too, and he doesn't even drink beer!
We had about 15 of them overnight...
Everyone had a blast. Our family had so much fun. H almost felt like he was coming out of the fog last night and this am and today, as well.
Weird though... he won't commit to putting our pier in, and getting the boat out yet. May be waiting until soccer is over. It used to be one of his favorite activites.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
H almost felt like he was coming out of the fog last night and this am and today, as well.
explain that please..
and then this??
Quote:
H was superb during the talk w/D18. He let me handle most of it, but if she started to get a little too emotional, or started to talk back to me, he stepped in and helped her understand.
specifically...ddi your H verbally say that he felt like a "fog" was lifting???
and if he did superbly during the talk then why did he let you handle "most of it"??? I'm assuming by that statement that you take the lead on these things??
Fog lifting = my observation (not a hopeful either, real observation)
We had to really work together (ALL five of us) to pull this grad party together for so many people. H and I really do that well. A good team.
Then, most of my family was there (H's isn't local so couldn't come), and friends that he was comfortable with. He enjoys them all. He enjoys entertaining. He really enjoys having all of the kids around, too.
Late last night, and yesterday am upon waking, he was truly present, more present than he has been in awhile. Seeking me out to talk about the party, the night, how D18 had really enjoyed herself, laughing about our dog livin' large at the party, our S's thinking that they were "in" with the teens allowing them to hang, bonfire, etc... If we were talking, and I would think he was done, and get up to do something else, he would add something else.
He was just more present. We'll leave it at that.
And, the conversation w/D18... I wouldn't say I took the lead, but I had the data in hand (had done the homework - talked w/her teachers to make sure poor grades were correct, handled the community college appointment, application, etc...), so I talked more because of that. He may have said less, but his impact was greater. He can get her to understand better than I. D18 is just like me, and I'm w/her non-stop, sometimes feel like white noise (to a teen? SHOCK! LOL) But, since he's gone a lot of the week, and wasn't in the thick of the "homework" he could see a bigger picture, and explain better to her.
So, take the lead? Probably a fair statement w/our history. But, he definitely has the greater impact, but lets me gather the info, present it, then he can help make sense of it.
Hope that makes sense.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Fog lifting = my observation (not a hopeful either, real observation)
We had to really work together (ALL five of us) to pull this grad party together for so many people. H and I really do that well. A good team.
Then, most of my family was there (H's isn't local so couldn't come), and friends that he was comfortable with. He enjoys them all. He enjoys entertaining. He really enjoys having all of the kids around, too.
Late last night, and yesterday am upon waking, he was truly present, more present than he has been in awhile. Seeking me out to talk about the party, the night, how D18 had really enjoyed herself, laughing about our dog livin' large at the party, our S's thinking that they were "in" with the teens allowing them to hang, bonfire, etc... If we were talking, and I would think he was done, and get up to do something else, he would add something else.
He was just more present. We'll leave it at that.
We'll leave it at that
the we'll leave it at that statement sorta leads me to believe you would like me to keep my mouth shut and not comment further..
I'll say this...
have no expectations...no matter what they do..
Until he says he screwed up, wants to work on the M..etc...
anything else...like working together getting ready for a party..is just what it is..
