First Timer

[wolverine1997]

Still not sure if I'm doing the 180 correctly or if this is even the best avenue to take but I will continue on. I'm about to start looking to schedule a vacation for the kids and me. I'm not going to ask her to go but if she talks about wanting to go then should I get her a ticket or tell her to buy her own? She probably can't afford it.

[Astimegoeson]

If she wants to go, arrange it, but don't push it on her or ask. She'll have ask

[wolverine1997]

That sounds good. This is so hard. There used to be a time when she would die to go on vacation. Now all she cares about is her job.

[Astimegoeson]

Your game plan should be to have the best time possible with your kids. It will get around to her how great a time they had with you on vacation. She might think twice next time. Trust me on this one.

[wolverine1997]

So far it's been about two weeks since I've started db. As of yet I have seen no results at all. She hardly acknowledges my existence. She ignores me completely and prefers that I don't talk to her. I have been trying a 180 but so far this seems to play right into her hands. I would give anything if she would just talk to me. We went out to dinner tonight as a family. She talked to the kids at the resturant and ignored me the whole time. She received a couple of calls on her cell phone and told her friends that she was out to dinner with the kids. Didn't even mention me. She did this twice. Should I just talk to her and ask her if she would be willing to talk and communicate some?
Or should I just suck up the pain and stay the course? After dinner she went to visit her girlfriends and I took the kids home. I was very upset but never showed it to her.

[K4D]

NO!!! No R talk. As hard as that is, do not do it. She will talk if and when she is ready. If you push the R talk, it will probably backfire on you and push her further away than she already is. Expect it to take far more than 2 weeks for her to come around. Just keep DBing.

Kevin

[MrBond]

2 weeks is way too soon to be expecting anything. You're going to have to look at it in terms of months. As painful as that sounds.

[wolverine1997]

Thanks. Needed to hear that. I'm such a sap. I'm ok now, I think. Anyway, by the time she get's home from friends house I will probably be in the bed, gotta work in morning. Sunday I am taking kids to Temptations concert and didn't invite her. She didn't seem to care. Earlier today I called her at work and talked about taking the kids to NY for vacation. She couldn't have cared less and never spoke of going with us. She told me to take them. She is really in her own little world.

[K4D]

You said you have boundaries that you wouldn't budge on. I'm just curious, what are those?

Kevin

[givingitmyall]

Stuck is right. 2 weeks is WAY to early to see anything. I am at almost 8 weeks, and no R talk. Still too soon for me.

Just hang in there and stick with the program.