Quote:
"Loving detachment and then really listening and observing. I think it is hard to do the second part until you detach. You can't detach until you do the work on yourself." - Coach


Ok, for starters I get that I need to have a list every day of what I am going to accomplish. I've been slacking big time.

As for working on myself...I think I throw that phrase around quite a bit but I'd love to define more clearly what that is. What really creates change? Is it just being different until it becomes second nature? Must I just be so ultra self-conscious until I can trust myself more?

Specific event to chew on. H picked up kids from school today and took them to gagillion dollar mansion to hang out. Was supposed to then bring them home. S9 called and left me a message asking if they could stay there for dinner.

I spin. I feel- left out, threatened by all of the fabulousness that is drawing them in, pissed that S9 called instead of H, annoyed that we have such willy nilly arrangements (though it does serve me some times), that overwhelming sensation that H is going to knock their socks off and I'm gonna be the brass tacks, simple life, go to bed mom.

I speak to H. I tell him it is fine (I can here them having a blast in the background). I mention that I think it is better if he handles schedule changes rather than the kids. He says if I want I can pick them up. Not the point. I say it is really fine, I just think they should know that the agreements are between the grown ups (presumably us wink ) and if there are changes, we will discuss them between us. I could tell that was just too much mothering for him.

So, given how it really was loaded for me and how unlikely it is that he will abide by what I am asking, I think it will be better to just do it and not discuss it. For example, if a kid is in the middle, I take them out of the middle and talk to H. Likely H will not hesitate to put me on the spot and make me the decision-maker but I seem to always feel better when I put it back on him.

What I did do after was text him that I am happy to have this time and thanks.

Thoughts?