I got the number of a therapist from my friend and im going to call tomorrow. Im going for IC right now. I really need to talk to someone because im struggling again with all of this.
He left yesterday to go out of state. He will be back tomorrow. But the whole time he has been gone ive been so depressed and just thinking "am I ever going to trust him again" and I know the text's to that girl were innocent.. but what if they had met? Seeing how his state of mind was, something could have happend very easily, and im getting that sick sick feeling all over again.
I hate what this is doing to me. This is not what I thought my life would be like. I don't deserve this. I know that im not perfect, but when things get bad, I don't go looking elsewhere. I guess that's what worries me, I have to question if we get in fight etc.. ok so now is he going to start looking for someone??? This is no way to live.
Just me spouting off again, same old same old...
Then I go and get my hair cut right.. only to buy a new curling iron which ended up torching my hair and I had to get another inch off.. now its up to my shoulders and looks like crap...nothing is making me happy these days, and I never used to be like this.
He keeps on asking me if I miss him... its like yea.. im just going through some stuff. He doesn't understand or he just doesn't know how to handle it.
Hopefully the therapist can shed some light on how im supposed to cope.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
