Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

No sh!t. He is a great actor. My family and I talk about that constantly. How, in the first few years, he was sooooo helpful and sweet and romantic. I swear, at one point, I thought "this guy is too nice for me. I'm not used to having someone falling all over me all the time. He would light candles and give me massages and go out of his way to bring me flowers and presents. My Mom LOVED him. She runs a non-profit crisis intervention and he would help her with all her fundraisers. Then, right after we got married......switch-a-roo. He was gone and some selfish a$$hole was in his place. He would complain if anyone asked him to do ANYTHING.

Sex-addict/deviant - both definitely apply.

I have no doubt that he will do the same to her. When she asks for something from him that he doesn't want to do or when she requires him to be a grown up and put his child or her before his selfish needs or when it's just no fun anymore or she has no money to buy anything....snap, gone like that. I have no doubt. So, I ask myself, why? Why do I continue to believe the lie. The act that he is putting on. As though, somehow she is so much better for him, that she changed him overnight. This is why I kick myself in the a$$.

He would have made my life miserable. It would have always been up and down. At least this way, K doesn't have to be subjected to his flaws EVERY day.

K is so smart and advanced (and I'm not just saying that because I'm her Mother. Her teachers say so, the family is amazed at some of the stuff she does...she whistles, she whistles for the dogs. She's been doing that since she was about 8 months old. Freaked me out the first time I heard it. I blamed it on my Mom, thought she was playing a trick on me. The other day, she put her socks on, by herself. Brilliant child (okay, that me exaggerating). But, yesterday I was talking to my FIL and he said "I just want you to know that I think you are a wonderful Mom and are doing a great job. You're a great teacher." I thought that was sooo very nice.