Ok, who watches your kids when you go on date night? We go every 4-6 weeks, cause the teenagers in our area get $10 an hour for babysitting! It's highway robbery, big time. I agree, date night is really important. Do you usually do dinner & a movie?
Thank you so much for pointing out what I should have seen. He's trying! He is trying. I feel so much better looking at it like that. Lucky, you are a blessing to me!
I have been pondering the issue of why I want so badly to be pursued. I wouldn't say I've had a lot of pursuing in my life. I was VERY overweight (327 pounds), so I didn't get a lot of action till I lost weight. That feeling of being sexually invisible is pretty familiar. I have gained 30 pounds since we got married, so I feel pretty bad about my body. On one hand, two pregnancies will do that to a woman and I HAVE maintained a 120 pound weight loss for 8 years, so that isn't bad at all. But, on the other hand, 30 pounds is a lot and I am still overweight. I guess if he pursued me, it would say that he finds me attractive. Sometimes, I feel very pretty and I just don't get why he can't see the hottie he's got. On occasion, I feel disgusting and ugly, but not a majority of the time. When I do feel ugly, it is powerful and I feel ridiculous for all the times I felt attractive. So, I see that most of that is my issue, not his. It would help, I think, if he would do some pursuing, but I know that he can't solve the problem.
H seems so uncomfortable with anything sexual. He doesn't want to talk about it or do it (very often.) There is no eroticism in our relationship. He is just too uncomfortable. No dirty jokes. No pointed remarks. No slaps on the behind. No bedroom-eyed looks across the table. Nuthin. Between his discomfort and my fear of being ridiculous, I am stuck. At this point, I don't even remember how to flirt. Even when I try, he shuts me down. I used to be such a flirt, even when I was 327 pounds. I had a friend that would get mad at me and say, "You walk into a bar like you're not even fat!" (She was mad cause I got more attention than her) I wish I could get in touch with that me, who was not so afraid.
