A little journaling ... I've been working through some of what robx has said regarding attraction. I'm not sure what to do with some of that. Clearly, people have affairs for lots of reasons not just a lack of physical attraction. Since we met, my wife has always said that she's waiting for me to wake up and realize that I can do better than her. I have a good job that pays well, I dress well, smell nice and do lots of fun and interesting things. She knows that if I decide to look around, I won't be alone for long. At the time she left I was depressed about my job search at the time. About three weeks before she walked out, I got a tech job in another city. I know that part of this is being interesting and mysterious to her. Her version of exciting is to live in a grass hut in the Amazon, which is more or less the attraction of this guy, Amazon included. It's partly a mid-life crisis, partly boredom with our life. I can see the boredom part. The funny part, is that for women outside of my W, I DO have a fun and interesting life ... a life that I like. Maybe not adventurous ... perhaps that is a place to start.
A minor, quasi-related update ...
Yesterday my town was having a "Taste of MyTown" outdoor event. So, I decided to head on over to check it out. I figured good food, beer and music couldn't hurt my mood. As I'm walking through town, two women ask if I know where the event is ... which I don't, I just tell them that I'm looking for it too and head on my merry way. About an hour later I'm standing in line for a beer minding my own business when this stunning blonde walks up to me and says "I've seen you walking around. I was going to ask you earlier, but you should come sit with us for the band." It took me a little to remember that it was the same woman who had asked for directions earlier. The afternoon was nothing major ... I did meet up with them , sat with them for the headlining band and was just kinda low key social. Plus, I managed to meet all the women around them. I've got to be doing something right!
I'm attractive to other women, I'm just not interested in them. Yes, they're pretty and all, but they're not what I really want. And ... I'm still married. Separated or not, that fact hasn't changed. Regardless of how she has treated our vows, it still doesn't give me license to date so long as we are married. I just figured I would put that out there. I feel good about my Sunday, but it worries me a little. Being, um ... untouched ... for a year and a half now, it isn't a small temptation.
In a MLC, physical attraction isn't always the biggest issue. I've read in many posts on this board that many times the OP is actually less attractive than the LBS. My friends think she's crazy. She's not going to do better than me, but ... in the MLC world, the fantasy has a life of its own.
