the best thing u can do is buy some time to slow things down.
keep up the good work, stand up for yourself and at the same time, keep things light and pressure off.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Well all, I have made a decision. H does not want to work on things and I'm sure I've done everything I can to turn this around. I have decided to move back home to my family and friends up north. I hope to be out of Florida in the next few months. Due to the job economy I'm fighting an uphill battle, but I'm still optomistic. After a year or so, I think I'll return to Florida because S will be four then and I do believe he will really need his father then. His father isn't much of an H, but he's not too shabby as a father. I have decided a neurotic mother is no good and that's what I will become as H starts to date and look for a "new love of my life". I think a year or so to let the dust settle and ground myself will be good for me and in turn good for my S. thanks for all of you who have supported me here. I hope you all can pull through to the other side as a family. My best wishes for you all.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I'm from right outside of Washington DC on the Virignia side of the city. I'm in need of some TLC and I will get that at home with my family and friends. I wish I could stay there, but I can't. S will need more time with H as he gets older. So for one year, I'm going to be selfish and go home. I'm also hoping for a very high paying job, knock out some of this debt. Last night H and I had it out. I really let go and got lots off of my chest. I haven't felt this good in a long time.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Basically he sent me the bill separation agreement. I reminded him I will not take steps to end my marriage electronically. I came up with a counter offer. I gave it to him at home, and then ignored him for the most part. He tried to make small talk and I answered his questions, smiled and walked away. He made dinner for him and S and I made something for myself. (Plus I had spaghetti for lunch, didn't want it for dinner too.) Then as we are going to bed, he comes into our room, announces he's sleeping in the guest room. In the past I've told him to stay with me in our bed which is soooo much more comfortable and plus I wanted him near. He always stayed. Last night, I said Good night and kept reading. Then he comes back with the counteroffer and starts asking questions and it goes from there. He starts with an attitude about it. Eventually, I get super mad and let him have it. I get it all off my chest. I started with you are a coward....and I will not sign anything to end my marriage, you will have to go around me. So don't waste your time with your lawyer and your money. I'm going to contest it as I have told you a hundred times because we did not seek professional help. We've both been told by our lawyers and plenty of friends that are divorced that I will get the therapy if I ask the judge for it because we have a child. Plus in the last couple of weeks, he has started talking to a distant cousin that found him on facebook, a woman, on the phone because the other OW has truly cut things off with him and only speaks to him on occassion about work related stuff. I think he's getting over it though. But this stupid cousin sent me a Facebook message that I need to let it go! CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE?????? I told him about that and he said no she didn't, show me. It was so much pleasure for me, I admit it, to see that smug look fall off his face. Then I got a heart felt apology about it. So that was nice. But I let him know I'm over all the crap I've had to deal with these long seven months, the disrespect, the craziness, all of it. He's not thrilled that I'm leaving but he knows he can't stop me. I also got really mean and that wasn't very nice of me, but I was on a roll. I told him I wasn't yet over all the crap OW did and pulled. Twice I asked her to leave us alone, after she made the effort to contact me and twice she said ABSOLUTLEY. Marriage is more important than any friendship and then proceeded to keep calling H. But really, what did I expect out of a loser 23 year old with a criminal record? I told him I was still considering whether I was going to get her fired or not. But I'm not. I don't even think about her much anymore. But again, he pushed my buttons. The ironic thing, now that I think back to last night, I think he really came into our room the second time in hopes I would say "Stay here with me in our bed." I never even thought about it last night. Oh well. I feel better which makes me happy. I feel better for getting the stuff off of my chest.
