Oh, I am just so frustrated...Earlier in the week, he said we would ML on Sat, but on Sat, he said he was too tired. We had taken the kids out early in the day, and I could really believe he was tired. I said it was fine, and it was, though I did feel a liitle bad about it. I guess I was a bit angry, but really not overly so, and I didn't say anything to him about it, nor did I pout or give him the silent treatment or anything. Really. I swear.
So on Sunday, we had a good day, and on Sunday night, I guess he knew he needed to put out. (That's how it felt to me.) He did some great things. He did not ask me if I wanted to ML, he just kissed me and touched me. That was great!!! When we were done, he did not start talking about anything else, but was just quiet. I would love to get to the point of some sweet pillow talk, but saying nothing is better than bringing up the kids or our mothers, or whatever. So that was better too.
But he was just SO not into it. He was there, but just not there. All the parts worked, and the deed was done. I guess I should be grateful for that, but I want more. So now I am feeling kinda awful. I hate pity sex/duty sex. It feels worse than nothing at all. This is so frustrating! And I really feel bad for him. I am asking him not just to do something he's not interested in, but to LIKE it. That just doesn't seem fair, but here I am, starving for that thing he's not that interested in. I just don't understand. How could a person just not be interested? And now, it's become such an issue, that it is totally uncomfortable even when it does happen.
We have a MC appt on Thursday. I am really hoping that it will help.
