Something else that may help you when it comes to how to communicate with your H. Something you've done in the past: silent listening. What do I mean by that? I mean listening to his actions and not his words. His words hurt. His actions may as well, but not all of them. Same with yourself. Learn to communicate with your actions and not your words as much (although you are an eloquent writer.)
You used to listen to him silently. When you do that, it speaks far louder than the words you could possibly speak or hear.
When you want to be reply angrily, stop and ask yourself if that's what you really heard and what you really want to communicate back. Ask yourself why it makes you angry when he says things. Is it real? Is it his bizarro mind speaking? Why the mixed signals? Why does he come closer only to maddeningly move away? Why does he have trouble sleeping? Weight loss/gain? What is it that is really happening and why does his words affect you the way it does? Does he mean to hurt you? Why the mixed sentiment then? Do you really feel that his trying to hurt you is the end of the story? Or do you feel there is more?
I'm curious to hear what you see in those questions. And if you have to rip his nuts off, I suggest doing so in the desert (only one 's') outside of the car. Perhaps in Vegas that might be more appropriate?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
