Renee I have tried to catch up with your stitch so forgive me if I repeat what others have said. This is all so very new for you. On the one hand you seem anxious to move on but on the other you are stuck. That is so normal. That was so me. It will take time and lots of it. Also it is what you do with that time. I wanted my h back also and I stood for four years. I knew it was time to move on but I was stubborn. I put up with a lot from my h. But I was determined. Anyway, I decided to really change my life and move forward. I am still healing. I have moved on and I did so without ever dating. I wanted to become a whole complete person myself. One important step is to figure out what you did wrong in the m and to work on yourself. Work on things to make your self whole again. Work on yourself inside and out.
I still miss my family but I do not miss my h. He is still so immature and I could not live with the person he is and will probably always will be. So in that way I am grateful that I have my freedom.
Do not rush your recovery but take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Also take time to grieve. Your old m is dead. Don't rush the greiving and healing process.
Then take time to GAL. It is difficult at first but it gets easier with time.
