Found a pearl just before bedtime..."We have to keep making ourselves better while they work their way through the fog. If they come out of it and notice us standing there all buff, confident and successful, its their choice to take it or not."
No... at that point, it will be YOUR choice to invite them back into your life. Never adopt the attitude that you are a possession that can be relinquished and then re-acquired when it suits the WAS.
When you get your $hit together, you will know in your heart if you still want a relationship or not with this person. Confidence is a great quality and you will need to temper it with wisdom, when you do that, you will know what decision to make and you will know that the decision was yours all along.
I know what you mean. It's just a matter of perspective. My marriage vows mean something to me, and I love my wife. And even though things are what they are, I still would like to spend my life with the mother of my children. Will I get another chance? I don't know. But I would sure like one! But I will go on if I don't. I am a better man, and a better father already...and I'll continue to work on and better myself...regardless. 'Living well is the best revenge'. I don't mean revenge toward her either...I mean against the bad things that life sometimes deals out to us. I rode my bicycle 44 miles on friday! That's my record so far! It made me feel super too! Just a short while back, I couldn't imagine me ever doing something like that. I'm in better shape now than I've been in for about 18 years!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Dude! Way to make the rest of us feel like Slackers!
Will I get another chance? I don't know. But I would sure like one! But I will go on if I don't.
Check you out! You're a successful DB'er.
Thanks for the attaboy SP. You doin' OK, man? I know yesterday was a rough one for ya'! I've been there...and I share your sentiments regarding the Ka-Bar!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Holy mackeral! Here's some good stuff that I picked up on this board just a while ago...
How much do you try to read into every word and action your wife makes? Your every move is being watched by your W. You won't get any feedback from her for a while. You are making the changes for yourself so enjoy learning and thriving under tough conditions. You can handle it. - Coach
And SP posted the following good stuff...
Eleanor Roosevelt: "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." [The only way past The Fear is through The Fear.]
Louisa May Alcott: "I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." [Love this one! You can't learn to cope until there's a reason to cope!]
Marcus Aurelius: "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." [Yeah! I make myself afraid! I can UNmake myself afraid, too! Old Marcus had serious mojo.]
The trick is to APPLY this knowledge to our lives!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
"Loving detachment and then really listening and observing. I think it is hard to do the second part until you detach. You can't detach until you do the work on yourself." - Coach
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I love how you post quotes you read elsewhere on your thread. I know it's for you, but it helps others as well! Thanks for that, and I think you're doing very well! Stay strong!
I love how you post quotes you read elsewhere on your thread. I know it's for you, but it helps others as well! Thanks for that, and I think you're doing very well! Stay strong!
Hi mnt_dreams.
I'm glad it's helpful. We all here are dealing with some pretty hard stuff. We are here to learn and to help each other learn, to get support and to support each other. These 'pearls of wisdom' are certainly helpful to me, and I'm glad that they are helpful to others too! Thanks for the pat on the back...I appreciate that. I read your stuff too mnt_dreams, and I think you're doing good too! Let's both stay strong!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
