stuck based on the recent descriptions of your wife's behavior, what are you doing to pump up her self-esteem in a meaningful way that isn't fake but genuine.
Her self-esteem has nose dived, coupled with guilt for whatever actions & behaviors that she was a part of. I'm sure she's in a bit of pain, coupled with depression (if that's an issue), it's a heckuva funk to climb out of, judging herself, feeling judged by you & others, not feeling good enough, not feeling like anything they do will ever be enough.
I know I've contributed some advice in the past and it may not have always been widely accepted, in the end, whatever you do to get yourself out of this problem, you have to do it that makes you happy with your actions, that you are satisfied in the end that you did everything you could think of and throughout all of this you were a man: you exhibited strength, character, you made her feel safe & secure during the entire process, you didn't focus on her too much because she was already under alot of pressure.
Be honest & sincere in your actions, add pumping up her self-esteem as part of your to-do list as her husband, don't shower her with too much attention but when you do get a chance, compliment her on her appearance and do it out of the ordinary, at a time when she wouldn't expect it and be confident when you do compliment her: do it because you want to do it not because it will win her back.
Be strong, confident & secure in yourself, don't focus to much on her, be honest & sincere in your actions & words and maybe do more & talk less and stop analyzing every action she does and look at the fault in everything she does.
This isn't a great place to be for any LBS but make sure that going forward you start assuming the role of the confident, secure man that you are (and if you aren't confident & secure in yourself, start focusing on what needs to be done to do that). Whatever actions you take going forward, think a bit before doing it, ask yourself does this dig the hole deeper and add one more thing to the list of things I'm failing at or is this a good thing that i'm doing.
