I got a reply for my email from my W. Wow, I really hope that don't believe any of what is said and half of what you see can apply here..
Hey, I understand everything you are saying, and it is true that I chose twin S over you..but, she is not the reason for our separation. The fact is, I wasn't doing fine at previous address (before twins H suicide). I haven't been fine for a long time. Yes, it is frustrating to me to have communcation problems, and it looks like your counselor is helping you articulate your feelings, that's good. You don't need to let people treat you badly, as I have. Twin S and I have been close for over 32 years. I don't think you (or friend that saw twin S for a little while) understand that. You have only known me for 2 years. We may go through spells of not talking or seeing each other so much, but we have a strange relationship that cannot be messed with. And just because people tell us to stop being so dependant upon each other, doesn't mean that we will put any stock into that opinion. However, we are 2 individual people with very strong heads, who like to have their own way. I promise you, if we weren't happy doing what we are doing we wouldn't be doing it. But I do understand your resentment. I would be shocked if you said you didn't. I'm very sorry for that. You sure didn't deserve to be treated as badly as I treated you. I don't like being a bad person. It makes me feel like I'm decaying inside. I took too long to accept how I really felt about our marriage because I didn't like the answer. But I can't live the rest of my life pretending. We should've gotten to know each other better, and that's my fault. I'm sooo sorry for screwing up so bad. I know you can't help the way you are, and I don't condemn you for it. However, it doesn't change the fact that we aren't well suited for each other. It doesn't have to be that we have short-comings, everyone does. We just aren't on the same wave-length. Anyway, I really hope that you are doing well and that your job is going good. Hope you have a good day off. I gotta get ready for work, I'll talk to you soon.
