How are you all doing? I've been reading threads but haven't written much. Really because there wasn't much to update. Up until this morning, I hadn't spoken to H since last Wed. So I have an update I just had to share.
So, yesterday I went over to my inlaws to visit. My cousin in law babysits H's son and his sister some weekends and the kids were. So while I was talking to FIL, the two kids came up stairs and the little girl, whose about 6 said who's that. And I asked do you know my name. But they were just there peeping at me from a distance and stayed away from me. Anyway, I didn't think a big deal. So they kids ususally go to the basement and watch tv and they were down there for a long time all alone. I got worried since they are only 6 and 4 so I went down to check on them. The girl then said to H's son, don't talk to her, she's mean. I said mean, I'm not mean. I said you don't know who I am. And she said yes I do you're "Vicky" and I knew that was you. She then said my mommy told us not to talk to you because you're mean. So I said what did I do that was mean, and she said, "you married our father." Yes, a 6 year old girl said this and who is not H's child either. I just said but I knew your father for a long time. And I left them alone.
So then I was on quest to be extremely nice to the kids, don't want any kids thinking that I'm mean, and I just love kids. Later on H's son came crying because he hurt his head and no one at h's family was paying attention to him and he left the room crying so I went and got ice for his head. Checked in back on them later. Ask if they were hungry, and got them juice from MIl, etc. I think I even made headway b/c H's son came and said later "Vicky" I hurt my hand. And I rub it and ask if its all better now.
Anyway, that said, I know the kids would report to OW that I was there with them and at about 12:15, while I was asleep my phone ran, private call. Jumped me out my sleep. I answered and it was OW, saying "let me tell you something." All I did was click, hanged up my phone. She then called back and I set it to voice mail. I then turned off the ringer and tried to fall back to sleep. But HOW DARE HER? What the heck is she calling me for, she doesn't have any right to pick up her phone to call me as she feels the need. We are not friends or even acquintances like that and we have nothing to say to each other. This little girl is very bold. She's sending her kids to my family who don't even pay them much attention when they're there and she can't even go there and then wants to dictate whether I interact with them while they're at my family's home. Is she out of her mind?
I know I'm not consistently good at DB and setting boundaries, but this time I am determined to set the boundary for this little girl to know that she doesn't have the right to call me. I have been there done that. Don't call me, tell my H whatever it is you have to say to me and I may or may not answer his call. Shoooot! I no longer want that girl to disturb my peace anymore - I was even mad that she had the balls to even call me and at that hour of the night or morning. She can run H's life but not mine.
Anyway, so I called H this morning and told him that he needs to tell "his woman" not to call my phone. He hated the "his woman" part but that's what she is - cake eater hates to admit that. Anyway, he had no clue that she even called me. Little chicken talks about how he even refuse to talk to her because he's tired of fighting and he just wants to come home cause he's exhausted. We had a decent conversation though b/c I started to tell him about his son's "ugly" face that he makes when he cries. We laughed it over. He instead thanked me for looking after his son yesterday. He said, "I thought you didn't care." I told him that its kids and you know how I feel about kids.
At the end of the conversation he said I just want a chance to work on my marriage and will I give him that chance. Usually I would go into you need to move first, blah blah blah, but I just didn't have the strength, I just said yes. Then he said, are you on board with that, I said uhuh. But I know very well I will do what I have to do to protect myself. My attorney should get the sep agreement over to me this week and I am planning to proceed with that until things made tangible changes.
Anyway, that was all... but is she crazy or what.
By the way, this website is really helpful b/c normally I probably would have engaged with OW. Just reading Sugar's thread about her interaction with OW gave me the encouragement to know that don't do it. We each learn from each other's sitch. Thankssssss!!!!
