Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

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Montana- You are such a sweetheart. Thanks so much for your kind words. I wish I was half the person you think of me as, because most of the time, with this situation being the emotional powder keg that it is and me going from somewhat "normal" to teary or furious in < 30 seconds, I feel like a train wreck!! lol!

It helps so much to be able to talk to people like yourself, who totally understand this crazy whirlwind of fear, hoping and pain that we are all in.

Funny that you mentioned lack of maturity as far as my spouse and yours...I read a good article about "marriage is all about growing up", www.simplemarriage.net/marriage-is-all-about-growing-up.html and forwarded it to my spouse awhile ago. I doubt he read it unfortunatley.

I completely agree with the idea of it, because I sure have gone through a lot of growing up in a very short timeframe. So have you...unfortunately both of us haven't been blessed with the joy and happiness we should be during our newlywed year, instead we are here. Oh well, no one said growing up would be easy! lol! It's one of the reasons I like the idea of the Imago therapy, they say that both partners have something to learn from the other, and that will help them grow up into a better person, but you're right, both people have to WANT to let go and take that leap of faith and TRY together to make it work.

And the sad thing is that I really doubt that I can get my spouse to go to the Imago weekend workshop that's coming up at the end of the month cause he doesn't want to try anymore. I point blank asked him about a month ago about trying another therapist or a weekend program (I was considering the Catholic program called "Renoument" or something in french meaning reunite), and he said "No".

I'm thinking of calling our MC and asking her to broach it with him, because maybe he'll consider it then. Then I have to scrape together the $ somehow, but it'd would be totally worth it in my opinion, it's exactly what we both need.

I feel like if I bring it up there's NO WAY that he would even consider it, but perhaps, just maybe, he would if our MC brought it up because he respects her opinion because she was recommended by his supposedly wonderful therapist. (I can't go to her because she's been saying for months he needs to get out of this marriage, she is not pro marriage, she is "run for cover" and don't work through your problems and keep the status quo, needless to say I loathe her).

I could offer to trade it for something he wants me to do, like for a concession in the divorce. It feels slimy even saying it, but maybe it's worth it to gamble on something because frankly, I don't have much left to lose at this point, now do I?

Mind you, he did go to the Marriage Encounter weekend without any fuss whatsoever, but that was a big bomb for us because of the communication technique used there, long story, but he did agree to go, which totally surprised me. That was 2 months before he filed though... ??

Montana or others out there...
Got any other ideas that might help me to get this idea of the workshop off the ground with him??