Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Day 6 and still going strong, sort of.

Mixed bag of a weekend. "Date day" over all went very well while it lasted. Went on the boat tours and all over Navy Pier, for those not familiar with Chicago, it's kind of like a mall/year round nieghborhood fest. Has a really tall ferris wheel which we did go on, and I'm afraid of heights so that wasn't all that fun for me.

Anyway, we spent all day walking around holding hands and being openly affectionatae which was great as XW wouldn't for what 12 years and always said I was "crowding her". Finished the night off with the fireworks show and had a rather inconvenient commute back to our cars, but it the end it all worked out.

Then there's the problems. As I said, we have a bit of history as said, and bringing things up to a dating level have been going on for a couple of months now. Well, turns out the D has taken a unexpected toll on me that I have to figure out and now I have intimacy issues, great.

Then there's the other problem. We mesh very very well as we both are divorced and know what it's like to be treated like junk, her XH cheated on her multiple times even after she tried to give him one more chance several years ago. As a result of that one more chance, they live together in a seperated state due to finances. She is actively looking to move out at the moment. i have voiced openly I am not comfortable with that arrangement and she has stepped up the search for a place of her own. But, Saturday her XH was supposed to have a day with their kids, instead he dumped them off on a friend and stayed home. When she and I parted after getting off the train, we both agreed to text each other when we got home ok, it was 1:30 in the morning so the drunks were out and all. No sooner than when I got home and sat down for a smoke and a long awaited beer, she texted she was home, good night. I texted back, I'm home too and wanted to talk about how embarresed I was finding out the unexpected intimacy issue. She replied, "I'm going to bed please don't text me any more tonight".

[insert screaching tires and collision noise please]

RED FLAG!

That request has NEVER been made and my phone bill is a mess because I went way over on plan from texting back and forth all night long. So why all the sudden the kids aren't there and it's just them, living in a seperated state and now I can't text her? This did not sit well.

THEN, yesterday as I'm having my coffee she sends her usual morning greeting and I just reply that I'm just getting up and feel blah, can we please talk later. She says sure and have a great day. i had to replace the starter in my cousin's van later on and she had texted several times just to say hi and what not. Then all of the sudden "Me,XH and kids are at the pool" don't text me in case he picks up my phone".

Oh hell no! Now I can handle that if he were to see something it would create an issue and she'd be out in the street or something. But I voiced my displeasure later on and that excuse wasn't even offered up. Something is seriously rotten in Denmark there. I basically put it out on the table that this isn't right, it's very simple math and I did not appreciate being "coded out". If you two were seperated and he goes out and sleeps with other people all the time, why should it matter anyway?!?!

I kept it out of arguement stage, but none the less damage is done. She didn't even send her usual good morning message this morning, and I broke the ice with 'good morning, hope you have a nice day', all she replied was "u2", I said 'good band at one point' and haven't heard from her since.

Sooooo, yeah, not good.

And such is life.